Line Pey Line!

Mumbai has evolved to become a hugely populous city in the last twenty years. Mumbai (with suburban areas included) enjoys or suffers (as you observe it), a population density of almost more than a staggering 20,000 people per square kilometre, which is a gargantuan figure when you compare (old data warning!) it with the population densities of other world cities such as London (13,000 people per sq. Km), Tokyo (6,000 people per sq. Km) etc.

So, the consequences of such a dense mass of people are that, you have to wait for your turn at every place. Queues are quickly formed at public spots, where you have to board a bus, or hire an auto-rickshaw, or eat in a KFC or a Mcdonald’s joint, or to get a ticket for a local. Amusingly even auto-rickshaws also have to wait in line at the other end of the line that is made up of commuters. So with a bird’s eye-view of that scene, one can see two lines merging into each other producing random strays that quickly reorient along the intended routes of each commuter inside. Even the road traffic is transformed into a long slow moving snake slinking on Mumbai’s pot-holed roads.

Once, the “call of nature” was ringing in its shrillest tone at the highest decibel possible and I knew I had to quickly attend to it. Delaying that by donning ear-plugs to drown out the sound of that call would have only made matters more difficult. I asked directions from the passers-by to the nearest public space where I could handle the call. To my great surprise and razor-sharp agony, there was a queue already lined up awaiting entry into stinking closures meant to deliver the ultimate pleasure in life for men. "Yaar! moothney key liye bhi line?" I said in an agitated tone. “Haan! This is Bombay son; there is a line for everything. Ab toh randi chodney key liye bhi line mein lagna padta hai!,” quipped an Anonymous Uncle. We both burst out into huge fits of unsuppressable laughter!!........gaining a temporary respite from the recurring call reminders.